What is this? What do you do with a hearse?

Now you know.
What is this? What do you do with a hearse?

Now you know.
With PAX, Bumbershoot, and UW’s opening game going on, Labor Day weekend is already a crazy time in Seattle. Seeing the throngs of people on the streets near these events, you’d think the rest of the town would be subtly doing their own thing.
Nope! My Friday night consisted of driving a bachelor party (yes, boys are allowed) around downtown. Fortunately for them, I didn’t have my camera, so their illustrious activities can remain a mystery.
Saturday started off with a (mostly) girls’ night out.


The night ended with an epic wedding in Sammamish and the first-ever signing of a marriage license in the Barbie Dream Hearse!

(Thanks to the Universal Life Church, I could have married them in there too.)

Congratulations, Kelcey and Christina!
See #29 on The Chive’s latest picture round-up. I’m a little lukewarm about being sandwiched between a fat lady and a bookstand featuring Fifty Shades of Grey, but at least they’re helping me stay under 30 as long as possible. Taken last week at the Greenwood Seafair Parade, this picture is proof that innocent bystanders give me better PR than I give myself. It also explains the poofy sleeves and pirate hat (I hope). Thanks to Chad for sharing the link!

Notice something different about me? Yes! I finally found a talented and efficient company to supply and apply my new side decals. Thanks to Erikka and Jed at Rainier Industries for making it happen!
And no, dear reader(s), you are not behind the times. I’ve haven’t been good about posting lately, which a quick google search shows has knocked my ranking back down below M@ttel’s. I have no excuse, except facebook, which seems to garner more traffic than any other web-based method, despite its dismal business model (but I’m certainly no one to talk). I can’t even blame the dog days of summer, since Seattleites all know it hasn’t happened yet.
It has been cool and cloudy (as I like it), but the rain has stayed at bay long enough for me to do a few more fun things. Touch-A-Truck presented by the Junior League of Seattle was a hit:
And I had a great time (as usual) riding with the Gothic Pride procession at the Seattle Pride Parade. I couldn’t decide whether to go goth, zombie, or girly, so I did all three.


Coming up next month is the long-awaited GeekGirlCon. I’ll be driving panelists, selling shirts, and yikkity-yakkin’ with some fantastic female business owners, artists, and authors. Don’t despair, geeky guys are welcome too! Since I’m a huge Wizard of Oz nerd, I am particularly excited about this event.
I’m also looking forward to serving as the getaway limo for some fun, highly anticipated Seattle-area weddings. Summer (or the season we call summer) is busy, but I still have a few nights open. Drop me a note if you want to make Barbie part of your big day!
As always, all photos (except the Chiver) were taken by Stacey Ryan Farrar, best photographer ever and all around amazingly sweet and wonderful guy.
The Seattle Erotic Art Festival kicked off sexy season with a super-fun launch party. When I wasn’t inside gawking at the rope-tying and bondage wear, I was outside showing off my erotically artful Barbie Dream Hearse.
The Capitol Hill crowd was out in full force, and it wasn’t just corset-clad ladies and shiny-suited men surrounding this year’s party venue. The SEAF launch party happened to fall on Cinco de Mayo, so the hill was rife with pub-crawlers in ponchos and sombreros as well. Even the SPD kept with the theme, outfitting one of their patrol cars with a musical horn playing “La Cucaracha.”
Despite the two big events going on, there were still plenty of regular folks out and about with whom to crack wise throughout the evening. Here are some of them:
This guy gave me a rose:
And I verified its authenticity:
L-A-N-T-Z spells LANCE:
This guy gets the Weird Dude award:
Here I am enjoying some off-time with my favorite photographer:
Although I received many compliments on my hearse, my outfit, my lack of an outfit, etc., one stood out the most. This kind fellow said he liked my blog:

So, Mr. I-Read-Playboy-for-the-Articles, I dedicate this post to you!
Once again, all photos were taken by Stacey Ryan Farrar, best photographer ever and all around amazingly sweet and wonderful guy.
We had a blast at the Altered Barbie Art Show hosted by Happy Delusions, a craft boutique in Renton (just south of Seattle). When Mary the owner did an open call for Barbie artists around town, she received tons of responses from painters, sculptors, and crafters. She even landed some lovely Barbie-themed models (pictured below), along with one 22-foot Barbie art piece that couldn’t quite fit inside the store (yours truly).
I was invited by the Pacific Northwest’s Pin-up Queen and car model extraordinaire, Kitty Mansfield. She’s the pretty lady wearing the traditional Barbie bathing suit in the photo below.



It was fun posing with all the Barbies (and a Skipper, shown above), and I got some updated shots for my portfolio as well.


All photos were taken by Stacey Ryan Farrar, best photographer ever and all around amazingly sweet and wonderful guy.
What better way to celebrate Barbie’s 53rd birthday than a ride around town in her dream hearse! I drove these lovely ladies to Disney After Dark…

…followed by a delicious Dessert After Drive. Yum!
(By the way, most of these were taken with my iPhone 4. Although it has many a megapixel, camera phones always fall short of the real thing. I’m hoping one day the wonky colors and weird reflections end up lending a quirky, vintage feel that future generations dare to emulate as they mind-edit photos taken by their retina implants.)
Or at least this guy’s:

I think this video gives a nod to just about every contributor to the horror community—past, present, and future. Hmmm, perhaps I’ve overlooked a possible career as a scream queen…
I had the pleasure of driving these decked-out revelers to an 80s-themed New Year’s Eve party at the EMP.

We were a bit early, so we hung out up front and welcomed the usual gawking from party-goers outside. What I wasn’t expecting, however, was a visit from the KOMO4 roaming reporter and cameraman. They started out by interviewing a couple of my customers, and I let them record the inside of the car, despite its lack of camera-readiness (as it would be anytime after I drive a big group of people around).

They didn’t ask me many specific questions, but seemed willing to film me until I stopped talking, so I gave the quick creation story and launched into my “Barbie doesn’t have to be tall, blond and fake anymore!” mantra. After they interviewed me, they took a bunch of shots of the hearse, ending with one of me pulling away. I always figure if something were to go wrong, it will happen on camera, so I was extra nervous. I even stopped at the end of the EMP driveway and came back to talk to the crew one more time to make sure they got everything they needed and humbly beseech them to shed my Barbie Dream Hearse in the best of light.
Then I hightailed it back to Capitol Hill to tell my friends the good news…. about being on the TV news. So far, all of the hearse-related coverage has been fantastic, but I’ve been burned by bad journalists pre-Barbie. The window of time between leaving the EMP and the airing of the news segment was a little nerve-racking, since the crew had enough footage to go either way. Luckily, the short segment was better than I could have hoped. They showed me, showed the car, named me, named the car, broadcast my brief glimmer of eloquence, and cut away with me driving off into the night.
Sadly, the story did not appear in web form and ran only once (to my knowledge) on the 11 o’clock news. Of course, almost all of my target demographic was out partying by then, but everyone I know over 40 saw it and thought it was a great piece!
Halloween has been the grand finale in the world Barbie in the past. With summer festivals long gone and spooky shindigs screeching to a halt, things usually die down as people start focusing on the holidays and making air travel plans. This year, folks continued making hearse travel plans as well, meaning I got to meet more fun people with the living, fun-loving guts to cruise around town in my one-of-a-kind hearse.
A picture in the Barbie Dream Hearse is worth at least a thousand words, and I don’t feel like typing that much, so I’m going to share some snapshots from the last few months and call it a night.
I turned on iPhone’s special “glowing eyes” camera feature for this birthday party shot near the Fremont Troll:

Just a random guy and his dolly we ran into (figuratively) while making a pit stop:

Just married:

Fifty years old and not giving a f*ck what her friends make her wear:

Barbie party girls:

Funeral directors preparing to get crazy:

Oh hi:

Come on, Barbie, let’s go party:

I happily ended the year with some nice folks and a short news segment, and I’m looking forward to another year of even more good times!
Yes, there’s nothing quite like driving a custom hearse around town on Halloween. Even the grinchiest sugar busters manage to crack a smile when I drive by. Of course, people have been constantly telling me I “look ready for Halloween” even though I’m driving my normal car and wearing my normal clothes, but the misunderstanding is a small price to pay for the amount of fun I’m having driving Seattle’s finest eccentrics.
Kicking things off was an 80s retro Halloween wedding. First, I drove the bride’s party to Georgetown:
And came back for the groomsmen:
I also drove a scary cool lady and her date to the Bonanza Bash at the EMP:
When I pulled up, I saw a guy with a late model red Cadillac CTS, fully open and showcasing what I would guess was an after-market stereo. Sure, it was pimp… if you like doing things the easy way. Should circumstances compel me to retire Barbie in the next few years, I’m holding out for a Ciel. It’s the perfect combination of my favorite things: Cadillacs, convertibles, and things that no one else has.
Incidentally, my under carriage lights were in full effect nearly all weekend. They add a little something extra when I park, but I usually turn them off when driving because there’s still a law on the books against them. Sometimes I forget. Usually it’s no big deal, but this time I made it all the way to the highway with my blue lights flashing to the beat of my stereo. The reminder came when some drunk actually pulled over, mistaking me for some kind of old-school cop. Good times!
On Sunday, I drove a costume party to a fancy dinner in Kirkland. I managed to capture a small ninja who was otherwise hidden from view:
I celebrated the grand finale on Monday at the Neumos Halloween Party. They gave me a bunch of drink tickets to hand out at my discretion, just in case driving a hearse on Halloween didn’t attract enough attention. The weather was cold but clear, so I spent most of my time outside bullshitting and taking pictures of and with people in the hearse: